Monday, April 22, 2013

Sunsets, Smiles and Sad Goodbyes


"You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These Are Some Good Times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now 
But you're gonna miss this" 
~Trace Adkins

Sunset at Camps Bay
I don't mean to get sentimental too soon but the truth is we're leaving in five days. It's crazy how fast time flies. Weeks ago I was making a "to-see" list and telling myself that there was so much time left and now I've seen and  done almost everything I've wanted to do and the time is winding down.  This weekend was the first of many "lasts" that I'll be experiencing in the near future and I'm caught between sadness and excitement. On the one hand, I've done so many awesome, life changing things and definitely feel accomplished. It’s exciting to know that I can go back to school and share these incredible experiences and continue to advocate for the things I am passionate about. On the other hand I can't bare to leave behind the incredible sunset or the smiling faces of my learners. Cape Town is beautiful. It's magical in a way. When you're feeling down it only takes a glimpse at the mountain or a peek at the sun to remember how lucky you are. Those colors are electrifying and when all else fails the spirit of community is rejuvenating.

On Sunday, I had the most perfect day! We took advantage of one of the last really nice days and went to the beach. We soaked up the sun and relaxed. There was not a care in my mind. I was so happy just to be. I remembered that each moment is priceless and I just practiced being present. It's something I've really valued lately. I keep reminding myself that love is the solution and being present is the destination. It's nice to have a directive that is not constantly moving forward. I was at ease, surrounded by the people I've grown to love and appreciate like family. Malleson road girls will always have a place in my heart.  The sound of the waves was relaxing and this incredible moment I smiled because e I felt completely satisfied and so happy.



Later that day, I saw the most beautiful sunset on Camps Bay. This was another "drop everything moment" because I wanted to watch the colors forever. I was in awe at the bright sun and the shadows and the orange, yellow, purple, pink, blue painting that covered the sky and glistened on the water down below. Tracing the footprints on the shoreline I began to wonder how many other people's lives were changed by this sunset. I recalled the stories that we've been hearing and retelling this semester and I wondered about the stories the belong to those footprints. What will their legacy be? What will mine be? I was reflective, calm, and also sad. I know I will miss this sun, those sunsets, the way it shimmers on the water and shines down on the mountains. It peeks from behind the trees and shouts to announce its presence. It is everywhere but somehow in South Africa it's different.

I'm not ready to say goodbye yet but I know that if I don't start soon I'll miss someone. It's only Monday but I know that by Wednesday I'm going to be heartbroken to leave City Mission Educational Services (CMES). No matter how angry the learners make me when they don't listen they have taught me about resilience and compassion. It'd be lying to say that they didn't inspire me. Each day they teach me something new. I've learned to have patience, to appreciate listening, and most of all to smile more. Their smiles light up a room and I can't believe that I'm going to have to leave that behind when I come home. CMES has been crazy, frustrating and chaotic but it's also been incredible, through provoking, fun, loving, and just right. I have seen the power of a smile and when I smile now I'll be thinking of them!

"Days go by
I can feel 'em flying
Like a hand out the window in the wind as the cars go by
It's all we've been given
So you better start livin' right now
'Cause days go by

We think about tomorrow then it slips away
We talk about forever but we've only got today"
~Keith Urban


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