These past few weeks
have been so amazing for me. I never knew how powerful it could be to get
involved in something I believe in. In February I wrote about the It Gets
Better Project and for me getting involved with the Holocaust Center's In Whom
Can I Still Trust exhibit has only gotten better! The In Whom Can I Still Trust
exhibit chronicles the challenges that homosexual people faced during the
Holocaust and also held events for the public
to raise awareness about homophobia and inspire change. I would never
have expected this exhibit and programming to have such a profound impact on
me. I'm left puzzled and inspired and so happy that I sought out this
opportunity for myself because I know that it was worth it!
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| At the interfaith panel on homosexuality. |
On Wednesday night
we kicked off Human Rights Day, a public holiday in South Africa, by attending
an interfaith panel on sexuality. I was impressed by the variety of opinions in
the room. There were two ministers from the Dutch Reformed Church who were father
and son and the son was gay, also a female from the Inclusive & Affirming
Ministries, a Jewish rabbi and a Muslim Imam. These faith leaders shared their
personal experiences and religious experiences and I quickly learned that there
is a paradox between representing sacred texts and personal ideals. Often times
these two things contradict each other and can cause personal tension or even
communal tension. The best example of this was when the Orthodox Rabbi
expressed his disapproval of homosexuality. He said that homosexuality was not
a value that he would teach to his children and that his religion prohibited
him from supporting it. I still feel confused because it seemed like he was using his religion to justify
discrimination but on the other hand I totally understood how guiding
principles could influence someone's choices and opinions. Most of us do not
choose our sexuality just the same as we do not choose our religion so I'm
shocked that even in this progressive country that prides itself on human
dignity someone could say that they think being gay is wrong or bad. I also
found it thoughtful that one of the speakers said that "nobody discovers
they are heterosexual it’s just understood that's what you'd be"; our
hetero-normative patriarchal society is boxing us in and prohibiting us from
integrating our sexuality and spirituality.
I was finding myself
at a crossroads. This was because I totally understood believing in what the
Torah says but at the same time I know that wasn't my belief. I didn't want to
say he was wrong because I would never want to be told that I was wrong or that
my opinion was not correct but I knew I disagreed with him. I was really stuck.
I felt like even saying that I could respect him for voicing his opinion was
supporting his case which I didn't want to do. Furthermore since it was my
religion I felt like I was being hypocritical and that I was expected to pick a
side and saying that I understood his perspective although it wasn't the view
that I held was a cop out. Was it?
Another moving
conversation was between the two Dutch Reformed Ministers who spoke. They were
father and son, Frits and Laurie, and the Laurie has just recently been
reinstated in the church because he lost his ordination when he came out.
Frits, a strong Afrikaans man, said that before his son came out to him he
never had to face the issue of homosexuality. Due to his religious affiliation
he knew where he stood but he didn't have to deal with it so his viewpoint was
never challenged. When his son said that he was gay their whole family changed.
Frits said at first he was hesitant because he didn't understand. He did not
have the knowledge and sooner or later he resolved that he needed to "get
past the Bible". Frits said he poured over the Bible and after a while he
realized there is not even mention of the term "homosexuality" in the
Bible. It's a 19th century term. Therefore he chose to interpret the Bible for
all the things it does explicitly say. The Bible teaches lessons of love and
righteousness and if the Bible says to love thy neighbor has thyself and that
we are all made in God's image then how could he not love his own son.
Therefore as a family they grew and became stronger. The most encouraging message was to share
your journey with sexuality and have trust in ourselves and our experiences.
This was the overarching theme that sometimes got buried in contention and
disagreement. I was really touched by the progressive community that I was
surrounded by. We are all working to embody humanity and with that we need to
recognize that we cannot separate our sexuality from ourselves nor can we
separate our religion. It's quite a difficult situation to be in when your
personal values do not align with your religious values. Last night we asked
the question " Can religion be the place in which we can trust?" and
I can't say that I have an answer but I know that when these viewpoints collide
there is a loss of faith either in one's self or one's faith and the challenge
is to embrace both wholeheartedly. We all had fun talking and discussing these
points when we got home and I realized that this is a huge issue and something
which I had first thought was generational is actually a societal issue and one
that is deeply rooted in religion for many people.
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| Slogans created by the learners to combat homophobia |
The next day I
returned to the Holocaust center for a youth workshop called the "Section
9 Project". I had been looking forward to this day for weeks! No only was
it Human Rights Day but this was a project that I sought out to be a part of
and because of that I was so excited that it was finally here!
This was modeled
after Section 9 of the South African Constitution which falls in the Bill of
Rights. This progressive text is the cornerstone of the South African democracy
and sets the expectations for what people hope South Africa will become. The
text says:
"Equality
(1)
Everyone is equal before the law and has the right to equal protection and
benefit
of
the law.
(2)
Equality includes the full and equal enjoyment of all rights and freedoms. To
promote
the achievement of equality, legislative and other measures designed to protect
or
advance persons, or categories of persons, disadvantaged by unfair
discrimination may
be
taken.
(3)
The state may not unfairly discriminate directly or indirectly against anyone
on one
or
more grounds, including race, gender, sex, pregnancy, marital status, ethnic or
social
origin,
colour, sexual orientation, age, disability, religion, conscience, belief,
culture,
language
and birth.
(4)
No person may unfairly discriminate directly or indirectly against anyone on
one or
more
grounds in terms of subsection (3). National legislation must be enacted to
prevent
or
prohibit unfair discrimination.
(5)
Discrimination on one or more of the grounds listed in subsection (3) is unfair
unless
it is established that the discrimination is fair."
 |
| Working in group to spread positive messages about homosexuality |
We used these words
as the guiding principles for our discussions and activities throughout this
powerful workshop. The fact of the matter is that these words are expectations
and they are not a reality. Working together to make this a reality is one of the
most influential things we can all do. The day began with mixing things up. We
got to know different people from the group on a personal level and a generic
level. With partners we introduced ourselves and learned a bit about each
other. Later in the morning we reconnected with our partners to discuss times
when we felt different from others around us. Although I wasn't a participant
in this workshop facilitators and participants alike worked together and we
quickly created an equal and accepting group. I was shocked at how quickly the
transformation from quite, awkwardness to enthusiasm and openness. I was touched when learners felt comfortable
to share their stories of challenges of feeling different. They spoke with such
passion and pride as they confronted their insecurities and declared, in some
cases, triumph. I learned that the biggest thing that holds us back is other
people making assumptions for us and assigning people to labels they have
attributed to them. I saw encouragement when the learners walked into the
middle of the circle and hugged each other as they spoke up about individuality
and being part of your own identity not the group's identity. One learner
shared his story about growing up feeling constantly different from his friends
because he was gay. When he was younger he never felt that he was different but
he was always reminded that you "don't play you with girls, you just date
them" which made him feel different from his other male peers. What really
stuck with me was when he said that being gay is not a fashion and nobody
chooses to be different. When we grow up
in a society that does not understand diversity it is so important to appreciate
the power of hearing stories and sharing our lives with each other.
We spent the rest of
the day understanding this concept of embracing equality by acting out a short
story about a young lesbian girl who is searching for happiness, creating
slogans which speak out against homophobia and learning about the It Gets
Better Project. The learners divided up into groups and told the story each
group sharing one chapter. In this way, as a community, we made the story come
to life. If anyone is interested in reading this story please go to this site: http://fundza.mobi/home/books/fiction-short-stories/in-search-of-happiness/. Later in the day the learners has a chance to
break back into groups and work on creating slogans that target homophobia.
They were to create words of inspiration and encouragement to spread the word.
I loved watching them work together to create such beautiful words. They were
conscious of inclusivity and teamwork which impressed me. The slogans that they
created were really excellent and it reminded me that something so simple as a
few positive words can really have an impact. That's when I thought about all
the times I could have spoken up when I heard someone using a stereotype I
didn't like but instead I stayed silent.
The It Gets Better Project was created in 2010 as a response to the
increase in teen suicide in the US due to homophobic bullying. The goal is to communicate to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender
youth around the world that it gets better, and to create and inspire the
changes needed to make it better for them through online video
submissions and positive messages of hope and encouragement. Last week I had a
great opportunity to film my own It Get's Better video with three other girls
from our program and represent UConn in Cape Town in this great project. Even
though our video contribution was a small part we all felt very empowered and
proud because we stood up and spoke out for something we know needs to be
fixed. Spreading words of encouragement reminded me that actions speak louder
than words and advocating for this cause cannot stop here! Our video will be up soon but in the
meantime, if you want to view the submissions for "It Gets
Better South Africa" thus far please go to this site: http://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbettersa. These are some of the same videos that the learners
watched during the workshop and in just a few short minutes meaningful
conversations took off that had us talking through dinner. I was impressed by
how well the learners handled these controversial topics, much better than the
adults from the night before. They were critical, inquisitive and thoughtful
which really resonated with me and made me smile. I spoke to them about leading
by example and working to share their passions for justice with their families,
peers, and friends. What was so inspiring was when I was speaking to one
learner and she was telling me how disheartening it is to feel so let down by
our world when seeing the evil that still exists. I told her to never stop
working for what she knows is right and she began to cry. This workshop had
such an overwhelming impact on these learners and on myself that in one day
feeling pride, anger, confusion, happiness and inspiration was possible and
that was so beautiful.
In the
end of the day we asked the learners "What has this day meant for
you?". I was overwhelmed by the impressive responses and real sense of
respect that was radiating the room. Here are some of the responses from the
learners:
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| Learner from Westerford High School acting out "In Search of Happienss" |
- Prejudice can creep up in our every day language without us even knowing if
- It is everyone's responsibility to continue the conversation
- Understanding starts by exchanging knowledge and sharing our experiences, stories, and what happens at home
- Let's talk about the good things just as much, if not more than, the bad
- Be yourself
- Listen, question and challenge!
All I
can say is that this experience has
definitely changed me. In twenty four hours I learned more than I ever could
have hoped and had some of the most amazing conversations. I am so appreciative
for all the opportunities I have had here! It's crazy how fast time is going
and I am so happy I've been able to accomplish so much! This has been an
amazing past few days packed with friends, fun, learning, soccer, food and
more!
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| Learners at lunch on Human Rights Day |
Chag Pesach Sameach
to everyone and enjoy the holiday!
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