"We Are Not Free if Everyone is Not Free"

This past week has marked the beginning of Passover. I've been so lucky to celebrate this festival of freedom in South Africa and like many of my experiences it's given me a lot to think about. I was privileged to be welcomed at two Seders and each one helped me to learn something new and have great conversations. On Monday night I went to Nancy's home for Seder. I was so happy to  be there because I've really grown to love the company and familiar feeling that I have with Nancy and Toni. We read each from a different Haggadah and shared our customs from the US and South Africa which created a lively, entertaining, memorable night for me. Something that was special is that just like in my home each participant had a different Haggadah and was encouraged to share what they appreciated or found meaningful during the evening. On Tuesday we attended the South African Union of Jewish Students Seder.  I'm really impressed by this community I have become a part of and it was so refreshing to walk into a Seder on Tuesday night expecting to know nobody but seeing familiar faces and friends around the table. I have South African Jewish friends! That's so cool! It was a really powerful moment for me and so it was nice to feel just a bit at home.  Overall both evenings were special in their own way and I was made to think and question which is always outstanding!

On Monday we created a space for sharing and learning that was comical and light-hearted. Everything had multiple meanings and I loved the "progressive" approach that we had. Each persons interpretation was valid which was really unique. We discussed the significance of women in the Passover story and also how we have  new symbols on our Seder plate to represent inclusivity and moving forward. I loved the point that Toni made which was that if anyone thought thousands of men made it through the dessert without the help of any women they would be wrong. This is mostly because men are too stubborn to ask for directions and without the women they'd most likely be lost forever! It made perfect sense in my mind which is one reason why I want to bring home the tradition of having both Elijah and Miriam's cup on our Seder table next year. I loved reading about the four children from a women's perspective and this appreciation for feminism was something I'd love to explore in a Jewish context.  I also learned about the significance of the orange on the Seder plate. I never knew that it represented the equal rights of people and specifically the rights of people in the LGBTI community. This was really refreshing to see especially in the midst of the decisions being made in the States surrounding this non-issue "issue". One fun thing we did was whip each other with scallions. This was something we did at our Passover Seder years ago but as we were recalling the pain of the slaves we also used it to symbolize our own pain during the Seder.  So, anytime someone was holding up the Seder or boring us we could whip them with scallions which became a running joke throughout the night and was really funny! 

Probably the best part of the Seder for me was when we each discussed one thing that plagues us in our own lives. I realized for me time is a plague. It is also a privilege but in many cases I'm experiencing how time is working against me. I only have a month left in Cape Town and there is so much to do. Time goes by so quickly and I feel like I am often plagued with not having enough time or not appreciating the time that I have. I am a planner so I love finding the most effective ways to do things and I feel like in some ways that's contributed to me not appreciating every moment I possibly can. Even so, just when I think I've do it all, there's one more thing on my "to-do-list" and I'm running out of time before I have to leave and move on to other things.  I think this also has to do with not being present which is something that often plagues us when there are so many things to do it's hard to be in the  moment and not thinking about what Is coming next.  This also has a significant impact on how much time we leave to reflect  and process because I am always moving so quickly. This really sparked my interest and got me reflecting about all the ways we are not free today. We say "once we were slaves in Egypt and now we are free" but there are so many things that hold us back and opportunities that some have that others don't and I'm not so sure that statement is entirely accurate.  It's a perplexing idea that we commemorate our time as slaves and celebrate our freedom yet in doing this often times we forget or negate those who are not free from religious oppression, gender based violence, and unsafe communities.

On Tuesday we went to the South African Union of Jewish Students Seder and it was really great. Since the Seder did not have a religious affiliation it was more about the community and we were encouraged to discuss in small groups which I liked the best. Everyone had readings that they could share whenever they felt like it and that made it really special because even people who didn't feel confident to speak out in the group could read something and leave a lasting impact. My favorite reading said "we are not free if everyone is not free" and I that is so relevant to what I've been learning and exploring over the past few months. There are some things that will stick with you always. 

One thing we debated about was where do we draw the line between remembering and moving forward. I wondered if we spent too much time feeling sorry for our past would we not progress forward or if in fact that time spent remembering would bolster a stronger front when we did progress. With everything bubbling in my mind I also thought it might be selfish to think too much about the suffering of the Jewish people when other people suffer too but I realized that there is an element of pride in recalling one's history.  I'm still struggling to find the line between these ideas but I think that not having an answer is actually powerful. It allows me to keep thinking. I am so thankful for the opportunities that I have had which have helped me reflect and reconsider this important holiday. In the past I would dread the Seder and year after year the story felt endless, the same. This year is different as my story is changing and growing, I'm gaining a new appreciation for my heritage. When before I felt defeated and stuck in a routine I now feel empowered and proud. There is such power in sharing stories and learning from one another. Every second there is another chance for my perspective to be altered and at a time when the Jewish people are celebrating their freedom I'm reminded to not be a slave to my own ideas and customs; being open minded is so important it allows us to continue to be free. 

The Words We Hear: Comments on Language Use and Its Influence

"Mowbray-Kaap, Mitchells Plain, Athlone, Cape Town, Mannenberg, Hiedeveld" These are the locations in Cape Town shouted out by the taxi hawker. Each morning when we wait for our taxi we hear the drivers and hawkers (also known as Guardjie) yelling and trying to get our attention. They stop and ask us where we are going and repeat over and over again their mantra. Even when nobody is around they whistle and shout trying to attract people to get in their taxis. At first this was pretty overwhelming but now we've got it down to a system. Taking a taxi in Cape Town is always an adventure. From getting on the right one, to understanding where to sit and what to pay it takes a while to become an expert. What I've learned? Always go to the back unless you're going a short distance. You will not have enough space. Taxi drivers will convince people to get in their car even when there is no space left; they will make space usually in the form of squishing or something like that. It's good business. Sometimes you'll be invited to sit on a crate or on a "laptop" which is a board which stretches across the isle between two seats to create additional seating. When I doubt, pay six rand but don't ask because then it's obvious you are not a natural. Usually we get to the right place but I'm pretty sure it is never guaranteed that the drivers will go the "normal route" which furthermore I'm pretty sure there is no normal route at all. The driver drive fast often blasting the music, or morning talk show, and therefore drowning out the car horns and shouts of other taxis competing for business. Sometimes we have to switch taxis and that's always confusing as someone just points and says "come" it's a gamble to see if we'll go where we intended. So far it's been successful. We're usually the only white people in the taxi. Fun Fact: 97% of white South Africans have never taken a "minibus taxi".

A taxi headed toward Cape Town. This is our typical transport to town. 

But knowing where to go isn't enough. Understanding the common phrases is the next step in becoming a "local". Although English is used practically everywhere in Cape Town there are common words or phrases that don’t come up in "American English" which are super helpful to understand.  It's pretty awkward when someone has to repeat themselves multiple times before you understand what they are saying. It is advisable to wear a neon "American" sticker on your head so they speak slowly, loudly and "properly" (that's a matter of opinion of course). Cape Townians also speak very softly so if you don't understand the words they are saying or you can't hear them  just nod and act like you totally understand, usually that works just fine.

 Anyway, here is a list of the most popular phrases I've encountered:

Postcard I fount in Jo'Burg!

"Is it?"- similar to "really" in the US, acknowledging a statement

"Cool Drink"- Soda

"Braai- Barbeque

"Robot"- Traffic Light

"Serviettes"- napkins

"Ja"- yes

"Take away"- take out

"Just now"- sometime in the near future, today, tomorrow, eventually or never

"Howzit"- hi

"lift"- elevator, or a ride home

"nappy"- diaper

"Kwaai"- cool

"Shame"-used as a term of endearment or sympathy

"Flat"- apartment

"Jersey"- Sweatshirt

"Invigilation"- proctor

Just to make things a little more confusing, in many "coloured" townships people speak Afrikaans. Although nothing in Cape Town is straight forward so of course they use slang Afrikaans mixed with English words. SO, just when you think you're following along all of a sudden they're not speaking English anymore. This is referred to as "Kitchen Afrikaans" and, yup, there's no way I'm ever going to understand it.

I've been thinking how cool it is that language divides us but also connects us in so many ways. I'm loving learning about this concept in our classes but also in every day life. As we speak about stereotyping and the origin of certain phrases it's becoming more clear to me that our words sometimes box us in or help enforce this idea of needing to fit a certain image, stereotypes. This is clear to me practically every time I speak in Cape Town because I'm automatically labeled American. I have not asked enough questions yet to fully understand the connotation of this label but it's somewhere between educated and privileged and obnoxious and rude. Overall I've spent a lot of time thinking about the words I use each day and realizing that the most thoughtful thing in my head can be perceived differently by other people and this is partly because some things have been part of our speech since we were young and therefore we don't even notice when we are being offensive. It's time to make a change, it'll be hard work.

Here are some phrases we use in the states that I hadn't paid much attention to but now I realize they are grounded in discrimination or racism:

"black sheep"- one who deviates from the standards

"blackballed" or "blacklisted"- ostracized

"blackmail"- to coerce someone

"white lie"- not intended to cause harm

"the pot calling the kettle black"

"seeing things in black and white"- as either wrong or right

"minority"- a word used to describe people of color in the U.S.

It is really quite interesting to look at how American society has created this concept that black people are a minority which is an incorrect statement in the rest of the world. By making the word "minority" almost synonymous with "black",  in many contexts, Americans are "blacking out" an entire population.

Until now, I had not taken too much time to reflect on how important language and word choice can be in our every day lives. From the simplicity of getting around and understanding the "lingo' to the more complex, deeply rooted ideas that plague even our most basic conversations language can be the tool to build up a society or break down an entire race of people. That's a pretty scary thought.

Bafana Bafana at the World Cup Stadium!!!

Dad: Soccer?

Me: Yeah! Why not?!

Dad: Do you even know any of the rules? Which way do they kick the ball?

Me: No, but it will still be fun!

Just before the national anthem

I was so right! The Bafana Bafana FIFA Qualifier Match against Central African Republic was a great time! We all dressed in green and yellow, South Africa's colors, and got excited! After a full day of eating and touring I was ready for even more excitement although I was really tired. My exhaustion disappeared when we finally got there. It was so cool and I had so much adrenaline. As soon as we arrived you could sense the excitement and I think I started walking faster because I was eager to see what was inside. From far away you could hear the people cheering and it was exciting to think we'd be in the stadium where the World Cup game was played in 2010. What was even more exciting is that we had front row tickets! As I made my way down I almost felt bad for having such little knowledge about soccer but taking a front row seat anyway. Everyone had their team spirit showing with face paint, shirts, and temporary tattoos  Even so, we were not the most decked out fans in the stadium. We raced to find team merchandise and although we couldn't find any we got back to our seats just in time for the national anthem. At that point it was clear we were foreigners because we were the only ones not singing but what was really special was how overwhelming it was to be surrounded by over 36,000 people and hearing them  proudly sing their national anthem! I felt really happy to be in South Africa right then!

The crowd goes wild after Bafana Bafana scores the first goal!

As soon as the match began I realized this wasn't like a Uconn sporting event. We had to sit for most of the time because everyone needed to see. The person behind us even said he was going to chain us to our seats if we did not sit down! He was kidding of course! We were all so excited that we couldn't help but want to stand up and cheer.  It was crazy to be in the front row (and the second row for some of the game) and naively I was hoping to catch a soccer ball when it got kicked out. Some other fans almost did a few times but it never came my way. The best part of the game was when Bafana Bafana scored the first goal. The crowd erupted in cheers and flags were waving everywhere. It was really exciting and amazing to see so much support and pride. After being here for a few months it was great to see such spirit. I loved the game and even though I did not know every rule I learned as we went and had fun just cheering! In the end Bafana Bafana won which was even better. Central African Republic did not score a single goal.  Going to the game was so much fun and I can now say I've been to a game at the World Cup Stadium! 

Celebrating a great win!

Netzer Jewish Youth Movement Shabbaton

Last weekend I went away to a Shabbat leadership retreat for high school students through the Netzer Jewish Youth Movement. I was invited to come and facilitate a lesson after I expressed interest in getting involved. Right away I was met with enthusiasm and I was excited to have a whole weekend to learn and share. When I arrived there were only two other learners, the rest came later on Saturday, so we had a nice time just chatting. I guess an overall theme for this weekend was- don’t plan- because the plans kept changing depending on the number of kids who came and also the timing of things around us. This was a great example for the students because even when you plan, plan, plan a leader must expect that something could go wrong.  We had dinner and played a South African board game called 30 Seconds which is similar to Taboo or Trivial Pursuit. It was really fun to just relax and have a good time.  This was a fast paced, competitive game but even so, we all had a good time playing. I was at a clear disadvantage since most of the terms were based on prior knowledge of South Africa but we still had fun laughing at the mistakes we each made and the funny answers we were giving.

After going to bed really late we woke up and got ready for services.  I was able to lead the first part of the service and I was really happy to have that privilege. It was nice to be trusted with so much even though I was just a visitor and overall I would say that the morning went well.  The service consisted of reflection, personal time, prayer and song. I loved the variety and felt really comfortable in that space. In the afternoon the kids participated in workshops to help them learn more about Netzer and being a leader. I was able to lead a session on diversity and how being able to work in diverse groups is tied to leadership. At first I was challenged by a lot of the kids because I had a different perspective on Judaism and I felt diversity was hugely important. That was a learning opportunity for me as I needed to adapt and adjust what I was saying to please the crowd. It was challenging because I was new to this movement and I was just gathering an understanding of the core values so I was apt to mess up occasionally but the expectations were high and high schoolers are critical so I had to watch my tongue. I found it interesting how many of the students did not feel a strong connection to Judaism and I wondered if I acted similarly when I was in high school with so many other distractions in my life. I think overall this experience was really great! It helped me to learn about Judaism somewhere else, meet new people, and share my perspectives.

 After a week of reflecting I have reached a few conclusions. Firstly, being Jewish my way is perfectly fine and I need to learn to respect and appreciate that. Until now, I never though that there was anything wrong about my Jewish upbringing and I quickly realized that there was no reason I should think there was anything wrong. Everyone experiences Judaism in their own way so who says different means bad or wrong? I am so fortunate to have had a wonderful diverse Jewish life and I'm privileged to be able to share my joy and passion with people in many communities. I can't wait to go back and learn more since this has really prompted some much needed self exploration and evaluation!

"Being Human, Embracing Equality, Fighting Homophobia! "

These past few weeks have been so amazing for me. I never knew how powerful it could be to get involved in something I believe in. In February I wrote about the It Gets Better Project and for me getting involved with the Holocaust Center's In Whom Can I Still Trust exhibit has only gotten better! The In Whom Can I Still Trust exhibit chronicles the challenges that homosexual people faced during the Holocaust and also held events for the public  to raise awareness about homophobia and inspire change. I would never have expected this exhibit and programming to have such a profound impact on me. I'm left puzzled and inspired and so happy that I sought out this opportunity for myself because I know that it was worth it!

At the interfaith panel on homosexuality. 

On Wednesday night we kicked off Human Rights Day, a public holiday in South Africa, by attending an interfaith panel on sexuality. I was impressed by the variety of opinions in the room. There were two ministers from the Dutch Reformed Church who were father and son and the son was gay, also a female from the Inclusive & Affirming Ministries, a Jewish rabbi and a Muslim Imam. These faith leaders shared their personal experiences and religious experiences and I quickly learned that there is a paradox between representing sacred texts and personal ideals. Often times these two things contradict each other and can cause personal tension or even communal tension. The best example of this was when the Orthodox Rabbi expressed his disapproval of homosexuality. He said that homosexuality was not a value that he would teach to his children and that his religion prohibited him from supporting it. I still feel confused because it seemed  like he was using his religion to justify discrimination but on the other hand I totally understood how guiding principles could influence someone's choices and opinions. Most of us do not choose our sexuality just the same as we do not choose our religion so I'm shocked that even in this progressive country that prides itself on human dignity someone could say that they think being gay is wrong or bad. I also found it thoughtful that one of the speakers said that "nobody discovers they are heterosexual it’s just understood that's what you'd be"; our hetero-normative patriarchal society is boxing us in and prohibiting us from integrating our sexuality and spirituality.

I was finding myself at a crossroads. This was because I totally understood believing in what the Torah says but at the same time I know that wasn't my belief. I didn't want to say he was wrong because I would never want to be told that I was wrong or that my opinion was not correct but I knew I disagreed with him. I was really stuck. I felt like even saying that I could respect him for voicing his opinion was supporting his case which I didn't want to do. Furthermore since it was my religion I felt like I was being hypocritical and that I was expected to pick a side and saying that I understood his perspective although it wasn't the view that I held was a cop out. Was it?

Another moving conversation was between the two Dutch Reformed Ministers who spoke. They were father and son, Frits and Laurie, and the Laurie has just recently been reinstated in the church because he lost his ordination when he came out. Frits, a strong Afrikaans man, said that before his son came out to him he never had to face the issue of homosexuality. Due to his religious affiliation he knew where he stood but he didn't have to deal with it so his viewpoint was never challenged. When his son said that he was gay their whole family changed. Frits said at first he was hesitant because he didn't understand. He did not have the knowledge and sooner or later he resolved that he needed to "get past the Bible". Frits said he poured over the Bible and after a while he realized there is not even mention of the term "homosexuality" in the Bible. It's a 19th century term. Therefore he chose to interpret the Bible for all the things it does explicitly say. The Bible teaches lessons of love and righteousness and if the Bible says to love thy neighbor has thyself and that we are all made in God's image then how could he not love his own son. Therefore as a family they grew and became stronger.  The most encouraging message was to share your journey with sexuality and have trust in ourselves and our experiences. This was the overarching theme that sometimes got buried in contention and disagreement. I was really touched by the progressive community that I was surrounded by. We are all working to embody humanity and with that we need to recognize that we cannot separate our sexuality from ourselves nor can we separate our religion. It's quite a difficult situation to be in when your personal values do not align with your religious values. Last night we asked the question " Can religion be the place in which we can trust?" and I can't say that I have an answer but I know that when these viewpoints collide there is a loss of faith either in one's self or one's faith and the challenge is to embrace both wholeheartedly. We all had fun talking and discussing these points when we got home and I realized that this is a huge issue and something which I had first thought was generational is actually a societal issue and one that is deeply rooted in religion for many people.

Slogans created by the learners to combat homophobia

The next day I returned to the Holocaust center for a youth workshop called the "Section 9 Project". I had been looking forward to this day for weeks! No only was it Human Rights Day but this was a project that I sought out to be a part of and because of that I was so excited that it was finally here!

This was modeled after Section 9 of the South African Constitution which falls in the Bill of Rights. This progressive text is the cornerstone of the South African democracy and sets the expectations for what people hope South Africa will become. The text says:

"Equality

(1) Everyone is equal before the law and has the right to equal protection and benefit

of the law.

(2) Equality includes the full and equal enjoyment of all rights and freedoms. To

promote the achievement of equality, legislative and other measures designed to protect

or advance persons, or categories of persons, disadvantaged by unfair discrimination may

be taken.

(3) The state may not unfairly discriminate directly or indirectly against anyone on one

or more grounds, including race, gender, sex, pregnancy, marital status, ethnic or social

origin, colour, sexual orientation, age, disability, religion, conscience, belief, culture,

language and birth.

(4) No person may unfairly discriminate directly or indirectly against anyone on one or

more grounds in terms of subsection (3). National legislation must be enacted to prevent

or prohibit unfair discrimination.

(5) Discrimination on one or more of the grounds listed in subsection (3) is unfair

unless it is established that the discrimination is fair."

Working in group to spread positive messages
about homosexuality

We used these words as the guiding principles for our discussions and activities throughout this powerful workshop. The fact of the matter is that these words are expectations and they are not a reality. Working together to make this a reality is one of the most influential things we can all do. The day began with mixing things up. We got to know different people from the group on a personal level and a generic level. With partners we introduced ourselves and learned a bit about each other. Later in the morning we reconnected with our partners to discuss times when we felt different from others around us. Although I wasn't a participant in this workshop facilitators and participants alike worked together and we quickly created an equal and accepting group. I was shocked at how quickly the transformation from quite, awkwardness to enthusiasm and openness.   I was touched when learners felt comfortable to share their stories of challenges of feeling different. They spoke with such passion and pride as they confronted their insecurities and declared, in some cases, triumph. I learned that the biggest thing that holds us back is other people making assumptions for us and assigning people to labels they have attributed to them. I saw encouragement when the learners walked into the middle of the circle and hugged each other as they spoke up about individuality and being part of your own identity not the group's identity. One learner shared his story about growing up feeling constantly different from his friends because he was gay. When he was younger he never felt that he was different but he was always reminded that you "don't play you with girls, you just date them" which made him feel different from his other male peers. What really stuck with me was when he said that being gay is not a fashion and nobody chooses to be different.  When we grow up in a society that does not understand diversity it is so important to appreciate the power of hearing stories and sharing our lives with each other.

 

We spent the rest of the day understanding this concept of embracing equality by acting out a short story about a young lesbian girl who is searching for happiness, creating slogans which speak out against homophobia and learning about the It Gets Better Project. The learners divided up into groups and told the story each group sharing one chapter. In this way, as a community, we made the story come to life. If anyone is interested in reading this story please go to this site: http://fundza.mobi/home/books/fiction-short-stories/in-search-of-happiness/.  Later in the day the learners has a chance to break back into groups and work on creating slogans that target homophobia. They were to create words of inspiration and encouragement to spread the word. I loved watching them work together to create such beautiful words. They were conscious of inclusivity and teamwork which impressed me. The slogans that they created were really excellent and it reminded me that something so simple as a few positive words can really have an impact. That's when I thought about all the times I could have spoken up when I heard someone using a stereotype I didn't like but instead I stayed silent. 

The It Gets Better Project was created in 2010 as a response to the increase in teen suicide in the US due to homophobic bullying. The goal is to communicate to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth around the world that it gets better, and to create and inspire the changes needed to make it better for them through online video submissions and positive messages of hope and encouragement. Last week I had a great opportunity to film my own It Get's Better video with three other girls from our program and represent UConn in Cape Town in this great project. Even though our video contribution was a small part we all felt very empowered and proud because we stood up and spoke out for something we know needs to be fixed. Spreading words of encouragement reminded me that actions speak louder than words and advocating for this cause cannot stop here!  Our video will be up soon but in the meantime, if you want to view the submissions for "It Gets Better South Africa" thus far please go to this site:  http://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbettersa. These are some of the same videos that the learners watched during the workshop and in just a few short minutes meaningful conversations took off that had us talking through dinner. I was impressed by how well the learners handled these controversial topics, much better than the adults from the night before. They were critical, inquisitive and thoughtful which really resonated with me and made me smile. I spoke to them about leading by example and working to share their passions for justice with their families, peers, and friends. What was so inspiring was when I was speaking to one learner and she was telling me how disheartening it is to feel so let down by our world when seeing the evil that still exists. I told her to never stop working for what she knows is right and she began to cry. This workshop had such an overwhelming impact on these learners and on myself that in one day feeling pride, anger, confusion, happiness and inspiration was possible and that was so beautiful.

In the end of the day we asked the learners "What has this day meant for you?". I was overwhelmed by the impressive responses and real sense of respect that was radiating the room. Here are some of the responses from the learners:

Learner from Westerford High School acting out "In Search of Happienss"

• Prejudice can creep up in our every day language without us even knowing if
• It is everyone's responsibility to continue the conversation
• Understanding starts by exchanging knowledge and sharing our experiences, stories, and what happens at home
• Let's talk about the good things just as much, if not more than, the bad
• Be yourself
• Listen, question and challenge! 

All I can say is that this experience  has definitely changed me. In twenty four hours I learned more than I ever could have hoped and had some of the most amazing conversations. I am so appreciative for all the opportunities I have had here! It's crazy how fast time is going and I am so happy I've been able to accomplish so much! This has been an amazing past few days packed with friends, fun, learning, soccer, food and more! 

Learners at lunch on Human Rights Day

Chag Pesach Sameach to everyone and enjoy the holiday!

I Can't Say I Have All The Answers: Response to an Evening of Human Rights Films

Tonight we took a field trip to the Book Lounge for a special presentation on Human Rights Documentaries. This whole week is leading up to Human Rights Day, Thursday March 21, and South Africans all over the area are preparing by spreading the word! South Africa is a beautiful country but as with almost anything, there are things that aren't beautiful too. Instead of the usual feeling that I have right before class (tired from work and dreading sitting on the floor for three hours) I was really motivated and excited. This might have been because I had a great day at CMES playing sports with the learners and working with one student to send him the message "you can do it". I just knew this was going to be worthwhile. I mailed my postcards and had a trip to the famous Charlie's Bakery. I was rested and ready! Basically it was already turning out to be a great day! 

The Book Lounge is a really wonderful place! When I walked in I wished I had more time to just browse the books. I always love book stores so of course I ended up buying one and I cannot wait to read it. It's called Edge of the Table and it chronicles fourteen boys' stories about growing up in the Cape Flats. I learned only later that this book is not available yet in the US which made the purchase even better! The atmosphere was really nice and we all appreciated the light snacks available to us as we looked over the masses of outstanding books before the presentation began.  Human Rights Day is so important to South Africa and it is clear that even days ahead people are looking forward to this day. Although  for some it is just a glorified public holiday (like Memorial Day or President's Day) it is rooted in history and pride.

We were privileged to watch seven different documentaries spanning topics such as refugees and deployment, unemployed youth, education and diversity, child trafficking, and environment. This program is truly like no other program. We have amazing opportunities and professors that really care about our learning.  I believe that learning should and does take place outside of the classroom and I'm loving every chance I get to see something new.  I really felt like these films took an honest stance on the issues they were discussing and throughout the films I wanted to cry and smile. Each one showed a glimmer of hope and also helped to demonstrate that these oppressive acts that go against our innate human rights can be stopped if people are made aware. It also shed light on issues I didn't even know that existed. I learned about "Skavivi Boyz" (Scavenger Boys) who make a living by stealing metals from trucks to support themselves and their families. What touched me most was when one boy said he returned to that lifestyle to earn back the money that he lost that was for his school fees. Life should never be that way. The overall message these boys wanted to send was that they didn't want to be judged for their lifestyle, it was how they made money. I liked this because it really showed how the system fails some and makes them result to "jobs" which are embarrassing or seen as illegitimate.  To me, it seems like if there were more jobs and services available then these young boys would not have to suffer so much. This was a common theme throughout the films as we saw young, undocumented boys and girls suffering from the same injustices because they didn't have their papers straight when they crossed the border. They were unable to register for school or get social or medical treatment that they needed. Documentation seems to be a huge issue because even with refugees it's a cycle that cannot be broken. If someone doesn't have their papers they have to go to immigration to fill them out. That costs money and many people coming into the country have no money. Another huge challenge is that the paperwork is often in languages that the asylum seekers do not understand which makes it incredibly difficult, almost impossible, to fill them out properly. Therefore, in most cases, they get denied papers and therefore services. This cycle is seen almost everywhere and in my opinion is one of the root causes of many human rights issues in South Africa. I'm not claiming to have a solution and I definitely don't have all the answers but I know this is one huge problem which many people are facing.

 I loved hearing what activists from the community had to say regarding traditions that were justified as "customary". Specifically this was in regards to the Ukhutwala tradition of arranging and forcibly marrying young girls then forcing them to have sex. The traditional practice is being used more often to justify the abduction and rape of young girls and it is no longer a cultural gem it is criminal activity.  Many people in the Eastern Cape still practice this heinous act and they believe they are right to do so. Some people did speak out and others shared their stories once they found refuge in safe spaces such as community centers or accepting families. I never knew of this before but what I learned truly shocked me.  What was even more powerful though was hearing the stories of youth who had been impacted as refugees, child trafficking victims, or challenged but unequal education. I felt for these children as I know that learners I work with each day have been exposed to some of these difficulties and I wish I could provide the words or solutions to take away that trauma.  It is hard to be exposed to so many issues like these. When I'm enjoying every moment here I have to recall that some people's love for South Africa is harder to see because of the difficult lives they lead. They have to tell themselves each day that there is hope for a better tomorrow. 

Here I am believing that it couldn't get better and each wonderful day I just smile but after what I saw and learned tonight I'm going to try to be more aware.  Changing the world is a huge task and I'm feeling like I'm more ready than ever to take on bits and pieces of this challenge until the world is truly a better place for all! I don't have all the answers and all I can do is learn, share and advocate for what I know is right. I hope this new insight and inspiration will move me forward, help me to grow and challenge my thinking in the days and weeks to come!

Someone's Reality

What if your reality was waking up each day to come to school and sleep. You would sleep because you were exhausted since you had to keep one eye open in the night to be prepared for bullies or even worse you'd sleep at  school to stay out of the way, avoid being beaten up during class since your class mates are out of control. This is the life for some of the students I work with at CMES. Since many of the students are former street children, they don't have what many of us would consider a normal life. Although their new home tries to instill some ounce of normalcy it's difficult to be on guard all the time and often the younger kids live in the same fear they would if they were on the streets because the older boys bully them or fight with them. They say it's for fun but it doesn't look fun for me. Most recently I watched two boys struggle in the classroom over a pencil case. The one bigger boy got so involved that he almost hurt me when I tried to intervene. The concept of consequence is far diminished because there are so many issues that need to be fixed before one could even think about what an appropriate, meaningful punishment would be. The next day the smaller boy came to school and all he wanted to do was sleep. He said that he would be out of the way and if he was sleeping then the bigger boys in his class would have no reason to fight with him. It was almost as if he'd prefer to be at school where is was safe but for him to be safe he needed to become invisible. It's difficult to watch some of these children live this way. In their new home discipline is infrequent because they are busy filing police reports, catching up with social workers, and making sure all the boys are accounted for. These tasks take up so much time that when a real issue arises nobody had the energy to deal with it. When the police do come they dismiss these incidents just like the many others and tell the boys to not do it again. Youth in South Africa are rarely incarcerated which I believe is a good thing but there are no alternative measures taken to educate them on proper behavior and decision. This is especially apparent with the learners at City Mission where there is an abundance of former street kids (strollers they call them) attending the school.

Since there is testing these next few weeks it's been a bit of a weird schedule. The learners are often unaware of which exam they are taking and then they become defiant when there is a miscommunication. Furthermore the students are dismissed early but many rely on arranged transportation so they spend hours our on the streets or around Bridgetown playing around with the potential to get in trouble. Today when I arrived I noticed yet again one of the smaller boys, from the Homestead home, was sleeping and he refused to take his exam. I took this learner out of the room today and helped him with his exam. I have been noticing how frustrating it has been getting for him to look at a test paper where he cannot read the words and be expected to perform well.  By rote he wrote his name and the date then with a blank stare looked up at me for assistance. Together, me reading and him writing, we completed the test. I had to read each word on the page and sometimes more than once but he was able to complete the assessment to the best of his ability. After we finished I asked him if he was proud of himself. He smiled and said he was. I knew that with a little extra push he would be able to complete it; I also had to tell him he could go back to sleep after. I wish there were more opportunities to empower these students and show them that they can do it but they have spent so much time being pushed down by the system that it is often hard to find it in themselves to be positive and believe they can succeed. This is someone's reality: going to school each day knowing you wont be able to read anything that is put in front of you, completing the work just to get to sleep, sleeping through the day because at night you must lie awake wondering if they'll pick a fight, being hungry, wondering what's better the home or the street, sitting in a classroom for the majority of the day being told to be quiet because every teacher is otherwise occupied, knowing there is something bigger and better out there but not having the resources to find it.

How can we change this?

A Proud Teacher! CMES Grade 9 Goes to the Holocaust Centre!

Grade 9 learners in the Holocaust Centre exhibit

Last week on Thursday I had the pleasure of taking my learners on a trip to the Holocaust Centre in town. I was really excited but also pretty nervous. This was basically a test. Had I taught them well? Could they behave on a trip? How would their behavior reflect on City Mission? I was really proud of have organized this at no cost to the school and I was in charge so it was nice to feel trusted and have a big responsibility. I know these learners have never had an excursion such as this so I was happy to have a chance to make a real impact in their lives, to do something they would hopefully remember forever!

Learning about the similarities between the Holocaust and Apartheid

The learners were all really excited and I could tell they did not want to mess this up. On the day of the trip they were the perfect students. Listening eagerly for instructions and complying with all the school standards they were showing us all they were ready for this chance! They handed in their "ticket" which was a timeline activity they needed to complete before being allowed to come and with enthusiasm they showed me their work asking if it was "good enough" to go. They really believed that completing the assignment was the key to going; what they didn't know was that I wasn't going to let anyone miss out on this opportunity!

Learning about propaganda 

When we got there the learners changed into different students entirely.  It was as if they never attended City Mission. They were wonderful and I could not have been happier. They participated and it was clear they had actually learned what I taught them. I was so proud of their ability to answer questions and show what they knew! Success! When something familiar came up they smiled at me and pointed to the screen. They were proud too because for once they could contribute instead of just being talked to. I wished it would be this way all the time! The learners asked questions and shared what they were thinking. When it was time for the exhibit tour they were respectful, engaged, and quiet. It was such an amazing feeling that I couldn't stop smiling.  Some even approached me and told me they were learning so much they never knew. They thanked me before the day was over, that's one way I knew they appreciated the trip.

working in groups to identify the photo

The learners displayed their enthusiasm throughout the entire day! This was especially clear when they created presentations on people who lived during the Holocaust. They acted as detectives and found out about their lives and their stories. They were excited to create posters and share the stories of the past with everyone. What made it even better is that they were confident in their work and eager to participate. I was really pleased by their cooperation and active participation in this wonderful program.

When I got home I was so happy and everyone could tell! What made it better was that I got the following email just hours after the activities had ended and the learners had gone home:

"Dear Melissa

It was a pleasure having your learners here today. You have done yourself proud! Both Carol and I were very impressed with them. You are clearly doing a very good job teaching them. Well done!

Have a good weekend."

Completed projects and a sense of pride!

The learners certainly surpassed all my expectations of them and they impressed everyone!I'm loving every minute of my time with these students and watching them learn and grow is so amazing for me!  I am becoming more and more appreciative of this sudden opportunity and responsibility. I feel a bit selfish taking so much joy from teaching the learners but at the same time I can see how much they are appreciating this experience too and I'd like to think that my feelings are mutual.  Every minute that goes by  is precious  so I can't waste time wondering I need to act, teach, and learn before it's too late.  Education needs to be cherished and valued and by taking my students on this trip and showing them the power of learning and how fun learning can be I feel like I am helping them realize something necessary in life and it feels great!

Praying With My Feet

Until I got to Cape Town, I'd never been so proud that I wanted to cry. Never in my life have I supported a cause so fervently that I was brought to tears by excitement, pride, passion and joy. March 8, 2013, was International Women's Day and I made every effort to be a participant in this celebration of awareness and active movement toward change. I am happy that I got out of bed on a rainy day off because this was truly inspiring and memorable.

As we walked into the Central Methodist Church in town the interfaith service commemorating the day had already started. It was a beautiful thing to see faith based leaders from all communities in the area coming together to speak toward a common interest. I really appreciated the endearing words of each person who spoke and with their encouragement we began to put prayer into action and make some noise for gender equality!

We gathered outside the church armed with signs and whistles and before long all anyone could hear was the siren of whistles. Proudly we marched along St. George's Mall in town cheering and shouting and gaining enormous amounts of attention. People were coming out from stores and stopping their work to see what the commotion was. We ran through the roads legitimately stopping traffic as we progressed toward the St. George's Cathedral and the glorious church bells. As we participated in this international ringing of the bell I became part of a global initiative that encourages individuals to take action on violence against women. I was overcome with hope and joy and I recalled the words of Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel when he walked beside Martin Luther king Jr. and said "When I marched in Selma, my feet were praying". To me this means do not talk about making change but actively seek out those opportunities and make change happen. Actions do speak louder than words and being an example of change, putting the passion in your feet, is so important! I felt as if there was no better way to put my prayers into action that to get out and stand up for something I believe in. Each step I took I reassured myself that I was making a difference in someone's life someway.  Knowing that simultaneously in Delhi, Rio de Janeiro and New York thousands of people were taking part in this event made me smile. I knew we were gaining positive attention and every person I saw I just showed them my sign and without saying a word I knew that the message was reaching someone.  I have been inspired by the passion and the love that people here have for such important causes. Being in South Africa, which is the country rated number one for gender based violence, this significant public display of advocacy could not have been more important or meaningful.

South Africa is teaching me that there is no better time than now to act. I'm constantly recalling the words of Hillel and realizing how relevant they are to my life and my experience here and forever.

Im ein ani li, mi li?

If I am not for myself, who will be for me?

U'kh'she'ani l'atzmi, ma ani?

And if I am only for myself, what am I?

V'im lo akhshav, eimatay?

And if not now, when?

As I reflect on my time in Cape Town and my actions I know that these words will guide me well in the choices that I make. They are repeating in my head when I teach my students, meet new people and especially when I stand up for something I believe in!

"To Ring the Bell is to recognize that:

• Violence against women is the most widespread and socially tolerated human rights violation. Laws alone are not enough. We need individual and collective action to challenge norms and change culture.
• Violence against women, whether on the streets or behind closed doors, is learned and often socially accepted.
• Each of us must examine and change the ways in which our own behavior might contribute to, enable, ignore or excuse this violence.
• Men have a key role to play in ending violence against women.
• Violence against women is everyone's problem and everyone's responsibility. "

I ring the bell because everyone is equal and there is no better time than now to act!

"Jew-ography"

If you are Jewish then you're never far from home…

Right now, there is nothing that could make me happier. I love the community I am building for myself here and I'm learning so much! Since I only have a short time I'm trying to explore everything and as overwhelming as that might be, I'm loving learning and celebrating and being Jewish all possible ways (which in SA mostly means Orthodox and Progressive, Netzer or Ha'bonim). I also can't get enough of sharing American Judaism with my new South African community and watching and listening as they try to comprehend my association with "Just Jewish". Practicing Judaism in South Africa is so great but I'm learning the distinctions that help to guide our practices often divide people more here. I've observed an unspoken animosity toward the Progressive movement from those who identify as Orthodox and a disdain for those of higher observances from the Progressive community. This is a generalization but from my understanding this observation is valid. The ideology that "we are all Jewish regardless of our affiliation"  is something that I'm gathering people struggle with here and they are shocked by my diverse, privileged, well-rounded Jewish upbringing (thanks mom!) . While I'm learning I'm mostly just enjoying and sometimes I am enjoying myself too much, it makes me miss home.

Starting with the first time I went to Temple Israel, a Progressive Synagogue in Cape Town, I was able to make surprising connections. For Starter's the rabbi's granddaughter is a friend of mine, Dalit, from American Jewish World Service (AJWS). Once I learned this I contacted Dalit the next chance I had. The following Shabbat I met Dalit and her friends for a community Shabbat dinner at her home in town. We enjoyed our meal for hours making connections and friends! There I met Marianne,from California, who is close friends with Aaron Leven who traveled with me to Uganda this past summer. This connection brought us to the typical "who knows who" of USY and it was fun to remember old friends and events! This past Shabbat has been my favorite one of all.  After weeks of anticipation I finally met Nancy who is from Connecticut, West Hartford, but now is living in Cape Town. Nancy knows Benzi Miller and his family as well as Judy Green and a whole bunch of other people from educators to rabbis and friends from the North East. We enjoyed a beautiful service with singing and music that felt just like camp, just like home. Singing the familiar melodies and absorbing the outstanding music that surrounded me I felt just right. There it hit me that I could not need anything else to make me thrive in that moment. I was totally at peace and so appreciative. The service ended and after Kiddush we went to Nancy's home for a wonderful, colorful dinner! After a while of "Jew-ography" we got to chatting about  other things and it was great to sit around the Shabbat table bouncing around conversations taking the time to appreciate my surroundings. I'm loving how easy it is to find connections in this world just by being Jewish. It's something I never really cherished until I was in Uganda and I met a friend of a friend who was practically family with my synagogue president. People say that it's a small world but for Jews it's even smaller. I could not be more appreciative of the hospitality I have been shown and the instant family that has been created for me in Cape Town after only a few emails. This morning I returned to Temple Israel for their Super Shabbat Saturday morning program. I listened to seven, seven minute talks about Judaism, participated in a family service with more music, and observed what a real community Torah service looks like! During the morning, I met Rabbi Lisa who is a visiting Rabbi from London who studied at Hebrew College in Newton and taught at Prozdor Hebrew High School in 2006-2009, my 9th-11th grade years. I also met a boy from Haifa, Israel who is close with Meir Sherer who is a good friend of my mom's and took me to Ukraine when I was sixteen. I was once again reminded that this community has ties so tight that the six degrees of separation is too generous. These connections withstand challenges and animosity and beam community and faith making it impossible not to enjoy every moment of shir (song) and happiness together.  This is what Shabbat and being Jewish is all about. 

Sharing a Message of Love and Beauty

Why Do I Love South Africa?

I love her for the perfection of her days
The crisp Karoo morning
The Joburg winter noon
The late summer Cape Town sunset
The star-filled Free State night

I love her for her people
For our warm smiles
For our resilience
For our I-am-because-we-are

I love her because she delights my senses
Highveld thunderbolts,
Jacarandas in bloom
Sunday braais,
African sun,
icy sea
I love her raw power, her intensity, her strength, I love her because of how she makes me feel

Sometimes angry, sometimes joyous
Sometimes fearful, sometimes love-filled
Sometimes frustrated, sometimes hopeful
Always alive

I love her because she intrigues me;
And challenges me
The Chinese have a curse: "May you live in interesting times"
I see it as a blessing

I love her because she helps me keep things in perspective
By reminding me how privileged I am
Every day

I love her for being a microcosm of the world
A world in one country
For what we can teach the world
About compromise
And sharing
And forgiveness
And tolerance
And hope

I love her because she's imperfect
And full of opportunity
And potential unfulfilled
I love her because she has come so far
And has so much further to go
And whether we ever get there
Will all depend on us

I love her because she's been so good to me
And she inspires me to return the favour
I love her because she's my country
No matter what
I love her because she's my home
And where my soul is at rest

~Ian McDonald

Today has been a beautiful day for so many reasons. I just received an email with this poem and I thought it was so exceptional and says everything I have been trying to say for the past few months so I wanted to share it! 

Happy International Women's Day!

Teaching the Holocaust to High Schoolers

How do you try to explain to students who have grown up all their lives being discriminated against that discrimination was the cause of a World War? What words can say "look you suffer each day but let's learn how their story is different/worse/more intense/more publicized than yours"? I'm struggling with these things as I am getting more comfortable in my role as a "teacher" at City Mission Educational Services (CMES). So often, the Holocaust is presented in such a way that nobody could understand or empathize. It was such a tragedy that there is no good way to teach about it. For this reason we often don’t. That's not my style. Starting with human rights and moving through to the Holocaust I intend to shed light on the toughest parts of our past and share the story that weighs down on so many people even decades later.  I want so badly to empower these young learners to take charge of their education and appreciate the history of our world but sometimes I feel like I can't even begin to teach them about the human rights violations that plagued our past when they are still living in the repercussions of Apartheid each and every day. I feel really silly. My students want to learn but because of the situation they have found themselves in they are not able to be vocal about their education. They can't learn what they really care about. I wonder if they have ever been asked what they actually want to learn. This is partially because of the national curriculum that prohibits creativity at all costs but it is also because so many people have expected them to fail that the minimum is exceptional. I've been grappling with a way to inspire and motivate these students for a while. Thumbing through pages of research and trying to engage them in this process has kept me quite busy. In fact I'm doing more planning than teaching. I'm not sure if this is a good thing.  Regardless of the push back from the students and the system I'm determined to succeed. I want to show them how easy it is for discrimination to become our norm. I hope to explain that there is no simple answer to these complex histories but there are things we can do to advocate for the future so these injustices do not happen to any person ever again. I'm realizing there's not enough time so I need to make my mark fast or I'll miss out!  Time is flying by faster than I can believe and I'm learning so much. The worst part is that it's just becoming more clear that I'm never going to want to leave. I already know that this is someplace I'll be dying to return. CMES is a crazy, stressful, surprising, intense, throw something new at you each day type of school and I LOVE IT! I couldn't have asked for a better way to experience Cape Town. My students teach me something new every day and whether it hits me instantly or hours later I am appreciating every minute I have to spend with them!

Grade 9 watching "The Wave"

Just to leave on a happy note, I have had some really unexpected, great things happen since I've been teaching the students. I asked my students to submit a journal entry on their thoughts on a movie we watched in class. The Holocaust is not an easy topic so I'm encouraging the students to write their thoughts as we learn to help them reflect on what they are learning. For once they can just write. No length requirement or expectations and the results have been outstanding. I could tell they really grasped some of the concepts. Some student took the opportunity to write me separate letters as well which I will cherish and use as guides for how I teach in the future. Last week I introduced the students to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR). Many of the students did not even know what human rights were but after a while they all got  really involved and we had a list of over thirty words or things we knew were human rights up on the board. Next I asked the students to look over the UDHR and categorize each thing as something they had seen or not seen in their lives. I encouraged them to work with a partner and talk through each human right until they both agreed. Those who took it seriously shared their observations and experiences and as I listened I was learning so much! I realized that there was not enough time for them to finish the activity and I too quickly assumed that they would not finish it. I was surprised when I was wrong. This morning when I came into the class the students were eager to show me their work and present me a finished copy. Even those who had not finished yet said they would do it soon. It made me so happy and I was proud. I am not sure if I was proud of myself or them, probably both, but I felt like seeing them complete the assignment on their own volition was a huge complement and step in the right direction.  Even on days that I'm tired I’m so ready for CMES because I can't wait to see how these learners make me smile each day. It might be something small or something big but I can tell they are capable of amazing things. If I don’t teach them the exact curriculum I hope I can teach them to be proud of themselves, to be respectful, conscientious,  and inspired!