From Dramatic Arts to Drama

Today started out pretty good. I was refreshed from a good night's sleep and ready for work. Even though it was early, I was so excited to get back to CMES the time was irrelevant. With coffee in hand we caught the first taxi to Bridgetown and we were on our way. We made it to work on time and even a bit early as the teacher's meeting had not yet started. For the morning I worked with the dramatic arts teacher. I had said that I was interested in the arts education that the school provides so this was a great chance for me to get involved and learn about the curriculum and procedures in the classroom.  The first class was a grade 10 class and the students were instructed to write dialogues with partners. In the second class of the day they would perform their scripts to the class. I noticed that the classroom was loud and the students did not do the assigned work. The teacher was not too concerned. At the end of class she reminded  the class that in another hour their assignment would be due and they would be performing. The second class was grade 11. We discussed realism in theater and how theater in the past was used to demonstrate the Apartheid. The class had a discussion about how theater in South Africa could be used since Apartheid was over and everyone had freedom. In a class of all black or coloured people this was an interesting conversation. There was a great deal of dissent among the students. Some argued that there were still many racial divides and inequalities. They seemed upset by the opposing viewpoint of the teacher. I wondered if the teacher really felt that way or if she was unable to share her opinion openly with the students because this was an academic setting. The discussion got off the topic of theater but, one student was adamant that there was still no freedom and said that  for the most part theater could be used to teach about the past or address new current events. Almost all the students agreed with him and the teacher was thankful that she could move on from an uncomfortable topic. During this time I just observed. I was shocked by the stubbornness of the students' opinions but also wishing that I could emphasize. I realized that no matter what I said in that moment it would be the wrong thing. Their anger inspired me to choose to change their impression of white  people in their lives. I also learned a lot from listening to the passion the students have for this relevant and new history of their country. The class was engaged and aside from a few distractions this was a successful hour. The students shared in the responsibility of reading and asking questions and were active participants. I really liked working with these students and I was impressed by their behavior and eagerness in the classroom.

After a fifteen minute break (which the students call interval) we returned to the grade 10 class to see what they had prepared. The students were supposed to memorize their lines that they had written but the exercise encouraged improvisation too so that if they forgot the prepared script they could complete the exercise to practice their posture and projection as well. Many of the groups were unprepared but for those that were ready they presented some heavy topics such as: arguments with parents concerning money or drugs, homosexuality, death, getting kicked out of stores, breakups and also teen pregnancy. Although these were intense themes that they came up with, the students were not mature enough to present these topics appropriately. They laughed and mocked each other in the classroom.  Later the teacher commented on how nervous they were but I don’t blame them because the atmosphere did not make it easy for even me to be completely comfortable. One thing that really interested me was the contrast between the topics that the grade 10 students in ZA picked as compared to what students in the US might discuss. This was a completely open ended assignment and even so nobody picked something that was lighthearted. I would expect students in grade 10 in America to talk about sports or friends in a similar assignment. The teacher pulled me aside afterward and said "see how damaged these kids are?" and I couldn’t tell if it came from compassion or from disappointment. Only because after spending the day I noticed I have no idea how the teachers feel about the students. They say that they can relate and maybe that's why they are hard on them or just dealing with the students each day gets exhausting, which I can relate to. I know that they care about them because otherwise they wouldn’t work there but in the midst of chaos I am finding it hard to see their passion. At the end of the class, the teacher said "I don’t want to say well done because that would be lying so I'll say nice try" and she smiled.

In the afternoon I was in the combined grade 6 and 7 class. Although the students all morning were studying dramatic arts, this classroom was an entirely different combination of drama. After the practically easy morning I had I was not prepared for the afternoon that I would have. The class was, for lack of a better word, insane. For the two hours I spent in the classroom, no teaching got done. One main issue is that the students do not have textbooks. They receive copies of the pages and are instructed to cut and paste them into notebooks after the assignment is completed. This takes so much time and is a huge distraction. The students often cannot read the hand outs they are given so additional time is spent reading aloud and underlining important parts, even in the upper grades. In this class the issue was definitely behavior. I would say that half the class are students from the group home, former street kids, and the others are too advanced to be studying with them, in my opinion. The students were disrespectful and that made it so difficult to teach even a short lesson. I noticed students were unable to say in their seats and they did not have classroom etiquette. Raising hands was accompanied by screaming "excuse me miss" so in fact it was pointless to raise their hands in the first place. In fact, when they did not get the desired attention quickly enough, they would get up our of their  seats and wave the worksheet in your face saying "excuse me miss" over and over. The kids could not sit still. I know they can learn but the environment was not appropriate because of so many distractions and behavioral issues. The teacher also had the challenge of teaching two grades at once. What this meant was that for every subject, she had to hand out two worksheets and write two sets of instructions. The students had trouble following along and because the group was split there was no real time to speak about the topics. Most of the work was individual, what in the U.S. we’d classify as busy work. The teacher was certainly frustrated by the behavior of the students. She often playfully slapped their hands or their heads to encourage them to get back to work. When she was really frustrated she spoke in Africans. If the students are upset they curse in Xhosa. When a student called me fat in class, I gave him a stern look and explained how that was inappropriate. She responded, "go ahead, slap him for saying that. He knows better". Of course I did not follow her advice and I knew that she was intending this comment in again a playful way but I was shocked by the scene.

Through out the entire afternoon I befriended the only girl in the class, Katelyn. I noticed her right away because I caught her admiring my piercings. She latched on to me and started asking so many questions. She wanted so know so much and I could tell she was smart. She offered to play a game with me to teach me Africans, I would say a word in English and she would teach me the word and I would say it back. This was fun for her so I played along, although admittedly I do not remember much at all. In exchange I shared with her small facts and tips for doing her school work and we talked about celebrities and history too. I asked her how she dealt with all the boys and she said it was awful. They stole her pencils and papers from her bag or her desk and in a way I advocated for her. I took back the pens and rulers and gave them to her and told her to keep them in her bag and watch her stuff. She smiled because I think in a class where many of the students need extra attention she gets left behind and because she is well behaved and stronger in her academics she gets less specialized attention. I am hopeful that our relationship will grow and she'll be able to trust me and appreciate me as much as I appreciated our brief interactions today.

I spent the rest of my afternoon disciplining the class with the teacher. When we established they were finished "learning" for the day, we tried to get the class to be quiet. It was the end of the day but we decided that the students needed to show they could behave before they could leave. Even when their friends or siblings came to get them, we set a standard and everyone was held to the same expectation so everyone stayed. Trying to keep the kids quiet was a bit like a show; it went something like this: everyone would be quiet except one person so then a student would get up and yell at him for talking. They would play fight and slap each other around a bit then one of us would tell them to sit down.  A boy would say "but miss, I must just say one thing" and I'd purposely ignore him. That would make him mad so he'd get out of his seat to address me. I would walk him over to his desk and encourage him to sit. Once he would sit I would say nearby to make sure he behaved. Then someone else would start talking. This cycle repeated itself for over twenty five minutes while children's siblings complained about having to wait and the children wined about wanting to be dismissed to go home. I couldn't help but want to laugh because it seemed obvious  that if they were just still and quiet for even just ten seconds they could leave but it was so hard for them. I am going to look forward to watching these students grow and improve because I can tell they are so amazing they just need to believe in themselves a bit too.

Although this was a new environment I felt in my element. Sometime in those two crazy hours a fire was ignited under me and I just snapped into a familiar role that I had been missing. I don’t know why but I felt content. I was stressed but at the same time excited at what had occurred in those hours. Marita brought up a good point today that once you have a meaningful experience, everything you do is somewhat governed by that live changing opportunity. I can't help but think that City Year has been the experience that consciously or unconsciously has governed my decisions, actions and passions over the last few years. I know now that I will be changing a lot over the next few months but I also know that City Year changed me so much and when I look at kids and see their lives those challenging classes and the "end of the line" kids are the ones that encourage me most. I feel motivated and I know I have the skills, although I can always learn more, to really serve as a teacher and mentor for these students.  In conclusion to what I lovingly call "From Dramatic Arts to Drama", I just want to stress how lucky and appreciative I am to be here and have the opportunity to explore and grow and challenge myself. It's amazing and I still can't believe this is all real!